A recent survey carried out by the Four Corners Group, a well known business solutions agency, revealed the changing dynamics of the father-child relationship and how it is being viewed by Pakistani mothers. The first of its kind survey, titled ‘Kitna Love Index’ was conducted in 2 key metros of Pakistan namely Karachi, and Lahore where mothers from the age bracket of 25 – 40 years belonging to upper SECs were surveyed*. Four Corners Group specializes in providing complete business solutions based around Consulting, Research and Training, and has done key qualitative and quantitative research for clients from all the major industries in Pakistan. This research was conducted to understand the shift in family dynamics, its impact on the mothers of today and the importance of the father in a child’s life.
The Kitna Love Index’s main finding shows a staggering 97% of the surveyed mothers who are happy with the overall time they, as parents, spend with the children. But 33% of the surveyed mothers feel that their husbands do not spend as much time with the children compared to the amount of time their own fathers spent with them in the past. Some mothers feel that the father- child relation today is different as compared to the previous generation and believe that their husbands need to have a better work life balance as it affects their relation with their children. 85% respondents also stated that the father is an ideal of their children and they take the relationship with them to be of trust, respect and love. These findings emphasize a shift in the family structure and dynamics over the past couple of decades brought on by the changing economy. The Kitna Love Index highlights how compared to the previous generation, today’s fathers are now managing multi-faceted roles where they are friends, confidant, guidance providers and mentors in a child’s life compared to before where the father was more of a strict and authoritative guardian of the family. This change in the nature of the father-child relation is because of better education and fathers’ awareness about their role in child upbringing. Fathers today try to keep a check on the values and principles that they want their children to adopt through various bonding activities, according to the respondents, but they cannot manage to give the same amount of time to the relation as compared to the fathers of yester years.
Commenting on the evolving family dynamics and the Kinta Love Index, Rifat Sabzwari, CEO, Four Corners Group said, “With changing societal norms, the way urban Pakistani families interact with each other is also changing. Joint families are now moving towards nuclear ones in cities. People usually have a hectic schedule, and fathers juggle time during weekdays as they try to meet pressures of daily routine lives. The Kitna Love Index is our effort at understanding the concerns of the women of the household and bringing to the foray the importance of the amount of valuable time that today’s father should give to the children. Most women now understand that their husbands need to dedicate more time from their busy lives to help with the personality development of their children, and push for a more balanced work life so that more quality time can be spent with the kids.”
The Kitna Love Index attempts to quantify the amount of quality time that families spent together celebrating the childhood of their kids. It also reflects upon a growing amount of mothers who realize the importance of the special bond between father and children. In another finding of the survey, 97% of the respondents agreed to the fact that a father plays an important role in the child’s upbringing. It shows that urban Pakistani mothers are increasingly aware of the critical role that father’s presence plays in building a child’s personality especially to deal with people with confidence. International research shows children who spend a lot of time with their father are better learners and have higher self-esteem than others. Experts make it clear that youngsters with a supportive father have a greater sense of social acceptance. They learn to be more physically active and have better social awareness as the father’s child-rearing methods complement the mother’s. In Pakistan, helping children with their studies, watching TV together, playing video games and sports, and snacking together are the four most common father-child past times which compliment the activities between children and their mothers.
For parents it can be difficult to find the right balance between family, work, and leisure time, but regardless, they try finding plenty of opportunities to connect with their children on a daily basis. These connections happen at mealtimes, during commutes, and by engaging in leisure activities as a family. The Kitna Love Index reaffirms that today’s Pakistani mothers are now more aware and conscious of the father’s responsibility towards the child’s emotional development and believe the fathers of this generation need to be more aware and appreciative of whatever opportunities they get to celebrate the child’s special moments.
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